Beyond Form: Embodying the Animal

Hanumanasana (monkey pose) on dilapidated ride in New Orleans Six Flags Amusement Park, which was destroyed by Hurricane Katrina. Hanuman is the "Son of the Wind"

Om asato ma sad-gamaya tamaso ma jyotir gamaya mrityor ma amritam gamaya Om shantih shantih shantih

Lead me from the unreal to the real, from darkness to light, from death to immortality. Om peace peace peace.

We come into these bodies from the formless, and to the formless we will return. The embodiment we experience in-between is a process of taking form. As infants we don’t know where our mothers end and we begin, but gradually we are told. We are given our names, our culture, our family history, the foods we can enjoy, the languages we will speak, the schools that will teach us, our identity.

Our use of language is often used as an example of what separates us from other animals. Ironically it is our use of language that causes much of the confusion around our true identity. Language is a set of symbols, both spoken and written, that we use to represent reality. We are so reliant upon these symbols that we often confuse them with reality itself.

During my yoga teacher training I changed my name from my given name, Derek, to my so-called spiritual name, Pashupa. I did not realize that spiritual names are typically given by a teacher, but that is another story. Never the less it was a great lesson in identity. I actually feel differently when people call me Derek than I do when people call me Pashupa. They seem to be roles that I play. Derek is the vegan photographer with a checkered past. Pashupa is the spiritual yogi who sits before you.

Words like vegan, photographer, spiritual, and yogi all put me into a box. So do names like Derek and Pashupa. They are symbols for aspects of my personality, certainly, but to be defined is to be limited. Yoga teaches us that we are limitless beings with infinite potential. Our bodies and our minds become conditioned by the symbols and memes of language and we lose access to that potential. How can we practice yoga in a way that will help us regain our unlimited potential? How can we go beyond form?

Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras begin with the sutra “Atha Yoga Anushasanam” which translates to “Now this is yoga as I have perceived it in the natural world.” The Sanskrit word atha means now, and places the teachings in the present moment. Yoga means “to yoke to” or “union”. Shasanam is a teaching or discipline, and the word anu in front of it means “atom” or smallest part.

My teacher and Jivamukti Yoga co-creator Sharon Gannon says “(atha yoga anushasanam) means that the atoms will instruct you: the essential nature within all of life will be your teacher — Nature will teach you. The wisdom that you need is all around you in the very forms of nature. Every encounter has profound meaning, providing a means to link or yoke you to the infinite, which is where you really belong.” (September 2012 Jivamukti Yoga Focus of the Month)

"To realize yoga we must transcend the misperception that we are separate from the rest of creation."

Hanny performing Bakasana (Crow Pose)

In our asana practice we practice expanding our boundaries by taking on the forms found in nature. We become mountains and trees, gods, sticks, kings and triangles. We also take the forms of myriads of creatures that inhabit the land, air and sea. In yoga asana when we take the form of another being we are not just taking an arbitrary shape – we are embodying the energy and essence of that other being.

Asana means “seat” or “connection to the earth”. We can connect to the earth as the tree being, the mountain being, the cat being, the cow being, the turtle being, the camel being. The practice of asana is the practice of going beyond form. It is the practice of letting go of identifying with the ever-shifting unreality of our small self, and striving to align with our true nature, formless and eternal. The larger self who knows the interconnectivity of all beings and forms, and flows freely through them all, like the breath that connects all of the shapes we take on our yoga mats.

To realize yoga we must transcend the misperception that we are separate from the rest of creation. The truth is that we are woven into the fabric of every other being in the universe, and our universe is woven into the multiverse, and we are are all together eternal and infinite. This is a very difficult concept for the human mind to conceive, and so we rely on the practices of yoga to help us. Taking the forms of other beings is a powerful tool, as it helps us dissolve our own boundaries. It also teaches us to treat other beings with compassion, for the more we understand them, the more we understand our connection to earth, to nature, and to each other.

Mardi Gras: St. Anne's Parade and Apocalypse Ball in New Orleans

Preservation Hall Jazz Band at St Annes Parade

Mardi Gras is an epic time in New Orleans, no matter how much one tries to avoid getting caught up in it. This year I have been struggling with money and had no fancy costume or big plans other than to work a lot at my job with NOLA Pedicabs and make lots of money to get caught up on my bills with.

My father once said, "man plans, god laughs." Well for sure we all get caught in the cosmic giggle. I am a bad ass on a bicycle but as it turns out my dharma is not to haul drunk people around New Orleans for a living. The 2nd Saturday before Mardi Gras was to be my first big money-making day because there were tourists and parades, but mama nature had other plans and chilled us the fuck out to about 35 degrees so that not even the drunkest of drunks were getting in my cab. After 8 hours all I had to show for my toils was the beginnings of a two-week long throat cold.

The night before that was pretty awesome though, as I got to go photograph the  Apocalypse Ball - an annual benefit for the Louisiana Himalaya Association (LHA.) (a volunteer-staffed, non-profit organization dedicated to international social work with Tibetan Refugees in the Himalayan regions of India and Nepal). This year the ball was held at Studio 3 on Toulouse Street. I danced my ass off, had my face painted like a sugar skull from the Day of the Dead, and flirted with all kinds of beautiful people. I would like to thank my friends Kate and Trishell for getting me in as photographer.

Me with my pedicab license

So back to this pedicab thing. I have been entertaining my yoga students with my pedicab tales for a while now, how I would go out for hours and not make any money. How the pedicab-pep talk would always turn to how much we were going to make over Mardi Gras. As my bills piled up and I ate peanut butter sandwiches to survive I wondered a lot about my karma and my dharma.

Mardi Gras means 'Fat Tuesday', and it is traditionally a final celebration of gluttony before Christians fast for Lent (on Ash Wednesday). The fasting traditionally lasts 40 days to honor Jesus' time in the desert chatting with Satan. Hungry Christians are exempt on Sundays, which are mini-Easters. Easter ends the fast. (random fact: I was born on Easter in 1967, therefore I am an Easter expert). Traditionally Christians fast from meat, dairy and eggs during Lent. St. Thomas of Aquinas thought eating animal flesh gave people more nourishment and "greater surplus available for seminal matter, which when abundant becomes a great incentive to lust." Kind of gross if it was true, but fortunately/unfortunately eating animal proteins tends to make men impotent instead. Not that anyone you will meet on Bourbon Street would know or care, but there you have it, ignorant ideas that have evolved through the ages and are still with us.

I was signed up for pedicab shifts from Thursday through Tuesday, culminating Mardi Gras night. Friday night my cold from the week before, which I considered past me, came back with a vengeance. I lost my voice and could only work for about 3 hours before my headache became unbearable, long enough to make the money I had to pay NOLA Pedicabs for using the bike for the night. I paid them off and went home to rest. Saturday it rained all day and night, and I did not work. Sunday I went back to work and did OK even though my voice sounded like a squeaky mouse. Monday (Lundi Gras) I actually made a bit of money.

Photos from St. Anne's Parade

Tuesday I spent the daylight hours with the Society of St. Anne, my favorite Mardi Gras parade. It isn't a super-organized parade with floats and all the gross excess of bead throwing, but rather a meandering gaggle of costumed freaks heading from the Bywater to the French Quarter, passing through the Marigny, stopping at bars, being joined by brass bands and psychedelic portable DJ contraptions, spontaneous dance parties, and run-on sentences disguised as journalism.

After a beautiful sunny day spent with my lovely freaks, I left to go work my night away on a pedicab. On the way to the shop I got a call from NYC, which turned out to be Ganeshadas from Jivamukti Yoga setting up a job interview with me the next day. A sure mood-lifter impeccably timed by that same universe known for cosmic giggles.

Suffice it to say that after about 4 hours of being harassed by drunks on the back of my pedicab I put enough faith in that same universe to quit my job for the night and head home for some well-deserved rest. Money seemed less and less important the more I thought about it. And I like peanut butter well enough. I will still eat it now that I have been hired to move to NYC and become the web editor for Jivamukti's soon-to-be-released web site. Life is good and so am I.

Photos from the Apocalypse Ball

Gratitude for my Jivamukti Benefit Class

Jivamukti benefit with Libby Bryan (giving assist) and Jacksun Slaughter (standing in background)

This morning I was blessed to have a yoga class at Swan River Yoga's Mid City Center given in my honor. I do not have any words to fully express my gratitude to my teacher and mentor, Libby Bryan, for organizing the class. She has been a champion of my cause, a light who gives me hope and strength, and the example of what I aspire to be as a yoga teacher.

Libby Bryan

This class was led by Libby and her friend and fellow yoga teacher Jacksun Slaughter, who I got to meet through this process. Jacksun is an activist and gave a beautiful dharma talk before the class, about the power of giving and the emergence of a gift economy that we are all pioneers in creating. The proceeds from the class are to go to my Jivamukti yoga teacher training. I am but a monk holding out a begging bowl at this point in my life, taking a giant leap of faith and believing that the universe will catch me.

I used to wonder about the spiritual seekers of the East, wandering with their begging bowls seeking alms. To the Western mind this seems like a selfish way to live, expecting others to support you while you follow your bliss. In the East, however, there is the wisdom that we are all connected by our karma. When we help another person on their path we receive benefit on our own. The more selfless we are, the happier we become.

We will play with a child or scratch a dog's belly because it gives them pleasure, and also gives us pleasure. It is much the same with helping each other in more profound ways. For example, when playing music, we can become shy and nervous when we think of how other's perceive our talent. If instead we play with the thought that the music will bring happiness to others, or that we are playing in devotion to the divine, then we lose the inhibition and our hearts open, and our music becomes beautiful. It is in selflessness that we reach our highest potential.

Jacksun Slaughter

I have a gift inside of me. I am a teacher, a healer, and a visionary. I say this with an inevitable tinge of ego, certainly, but also with infinite humility and gratitude. I follow this path of a yogi to temper my qualities and teach me to be a peaceful warrior. I have found such a wellspring of love in this community, and hope to give back. To deepen and share my wisdom, to honor the sacred web of life that connects us all. To save the animals, the humans and the planet.

This morning's class was so amazing. I hardly knew anyone that showed up. At first I felt a blue note that none of my closest friends were there to support me. Then I realized how auspicious it was that this room full of strangers had come on my behalf. My friends support me every day in my happiness. These people came to help a stranger. Between the two I am infinitely blessed.

At the start of the class I sat to the right of Libby, with Jacksun to the left, to sing kirtans. Libby said that when we help one person amongst us on their spiritual path it lifts us all up. I am humbled to be in this position, and hope that I will uplift those around me on their path. I hope I can return the support I have been given exponentially to this community. I am in love with all of you. My heart and life for you. I am your warrior and servant, your friend and companion. I bow to the light in you, and am here to help keep it burning bright in all of us. Namaste.

Om Bolo Sat Guru, Bhagavan, Qi. Jai! (God is the only Real teacher, Alluleulia!)

Libby and Jacksun, thank you so much for all you do.

View fullsize

View fullsize

View fullsize

View fullsize

Ode to the Divine Mother

Keith Porteous sits in lotus pose at Swan River's yoga studio in the Marigny

Today I woke up in a state of bliss. The sun was shining as I walked to the Green Project to get some hardware for my Mardi Gras costume. I had the new Radiohead album playing on my iPod, Thom Yorke's sweet familiar voice soothing my soul. As I walked balanced on the railroad tracks alongside of Press Street I slowly waved my arms up and down as if they were wings, feeling the strong winds blowing on my bare skin from the Mississippi River.

This thought occurred to me; "I am exactly who I was meant to be." I felt goosebumps move across my skin. It was a feeling of pure love, of being held in the arms of the universe. One verse, one love, one me.

The second deep blessing of the day came during my thursday Jivamukti class, held at the Swan River studio in the Marigny and taught by my dear teacher Keith Porteous. Keith is 10 days from her pregnancy due date, and it was one of the last classes she will be teaching for a while. I asked to accompany her on ukulele for the kirtan (sacred chant) before class and she happily obliged me. I suggested we sing Bhajamana Ma, a chant for the Divine Mother, in honor of her pregnancy.

The chant in Sanskrit is "Bhajamana Ma Ma Ma Ma. Ananda mayi Ma Ma. Ananda rupa Ma Ma." ~ translated by Swan River co-owner Michele Baker, in English it means "I give all of my love to the Divine Mother. Take from me all that is not free, and allow me to experience eternal bliss, dearest Mother."

It is beautiful that the word "Ma" means the same in modern English as in ancient Sanskrit. A sound as simple and profound as Aum. In western religions the mother is downplayed and the father is the ultimate expression of divinity. I believe that this imbalance has led us down a destructive path. We all need the compassion and nurturing nature that comes from the feminine aspect of divinity to heal the toxicity and war that we have wreaked upon the Earth.

Keith Porteous in Swan River's Marigny studio

I have been blessed in my life to be surrounded by strong and beautiful women. They are all my teachers in their various roles in my life; Some as friends, some lovers, some strangers who share a moment, some mothers and grandmothers who have brought life through their bodies into the world. They are all manifestations of the divine.

As I practice yoga asanas I strengthen my connection to the Earth, the mother of all life as we experience it. Asana means "seat", and somehow these postures that we work on day after day connect us to the Earth. The illusion of separation from the source of life slowly fades as our hearts open and we learn to "sit" in alignment with the divine.

To see my beloved teacher Keith with her mamma's belly so big and round fills my heart with love. What a blessed child to be born with her as a mother. What a blessed soul I am to have her as a teacher. How blessed we all are to have each other. Share your gratitude with the mothers in your life, and you will find the blessings returning to you, the flowers of wisdom blossoming all around you, and your connection to the Earth becoming stronger.